i can't stop thinking...
TW: violence
2021
I can’t stop thinking about the 8 Asian American women lost in a horrific shooting spree in Atlanta, Georgia. Why? I can’t stop thinking about how they remind me of my mom, aunts, sisters, and siblings. Strong, resilient women. I can’t stop thinking about the Asian American elders who have sacrificed so much to be ridiculed and made fun of. They give and give and give. But never take.
2022
I can’t stop thinking about when I visited NYC not too long ago and stood in the same station as Michelle Alyssa Go. I can’t stop thinking about the countless times I’ve come home alone late at night, like Christina Yuna Lee. I can’t stop thinking about how I live in a major metropolitan city that is not very safe. I can’t stop thinking about how I don’t walk anywhere at night anymore, opting instead to drive for some amount of protection. But is that really protection? I can’t stop thinking about how I grip the sharp edges of my keys, or pepper spray in my coat pocket when I am walking alone, even in the light of day. I can’t stop thinking about how I should know self-defense… in case. In case. I can’t stop thinking about my girlfriends and their safety when we leave each other after dinner. And I can’t stop thinking about how I have to share my location with my friends, and text “hey, I got home, I’m safe!” so they know to rest easy.